The details aren't important here. What is important, is that I expected a package to be left at my apartment door today from UPS (which, to note, UPS has left packages at my door in the past). Instead of the box, was a note stating FINAL delivery attempt. I called UPS, and the following conversation ensued:
Me: (explained situation to dimwit who answered the phone)
Dimwit: "If you are not home to receive the package, UPS can no longer leave it at your apartment door. Our policy has changed due to many reported stolen packages in your neighborhood. You can pick up the package at the warehouse during the next five business days from 9-6."
Me: "I am not home all day and I am not available 9-6 to pick up the package. Please help me get my box."
Dimwit: "what, do you, like, work or something?"
Yea, I, LIKE, WORK or SOMETHING. I wonder what the "something" was meant to be? Sit around all day and scratch my butt? Walk around the neighborhood and steal everyone's UPS packages? Just hang out in my apartment all the darn day long and wait for that one random UPS package I get once every few months???
GIVE ME MY FREAKIN' PACKAGE YOU BASTARDS.
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